Sixth grader Sara saved her red dress for this special field trip. She could hardly contain her excitement!
The teacher commanded that the students walk in rows of two as they left the school grounds.
Twenty joyful children crossed the street, while an overweight girl trudged alone - with a sad face, dressed in red.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Cindy Replies!
Because Cindy and I have talked about a week and a half after I received her first letter, I received this follow-up e-mail yesterday. I think you'll be interested in hearing what has happened since she initially wrote her first e-mail. Here it is:
Dear Bubbie,
Not only am I one not to be pitied, but I deserve better than a man who won't consider my feelings. He is placing the "Importance of Joan" above me.
Your reply made me cry. Then I got mad. I don't need to 'wean' myself off of him. I went to his house, left his credit card on a table and wrote a letter: "I'm done. Don't call me, call Joan."
I feel such relief. I feel a new beginning - like I'm the sun coming out after a grey day. But, I'm also shaky and scared. Maybe I'm afraid to be alone?
I'm scheduling an appointment with you - I think for reinforcement more than anything. Maybe if I believe, like you do, Bubbie - then I really will meet my soul mate.
Affectionately yours,
Cindy
Dear Bubbie,
Not only am I one not to be pitied, but I deserve better than a man who won't consider my feelings. He is placing the "Importance of Joan" above me.
Your reply made me cry. Then I got mad. I don't need to 'wean' myself off of him. I went to his house, left his credit card on a table and wrote a letter: "I'm done. Don't call me, call Joan."
I feel such relief. I feel a new beginning - like I'm the sun coming out after a grey day. But, I'm also shaky and scared. Maybe I'm afraid to be alone?
I'm scheduling an appointment with you - I think for reinforcement more than anything. Maybe if I believe, like you do, Bubbie - then I really will meet my soul mate.
Affectionately yours,
Cindy
Dear Bubbie,
I've been dating a man for a year and a half. He's an attorney with a beautiful beach house. His friends and family say they've never seen his so happy and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him.
He loves my dogs and they love him.
Bubbie, we spend every night together at his house and in the mornings, he brings me breakfast in bed. But, here's the problem:
When he was previously married, that marriage broke up because he was sleeping with another woman. We'll call her Joan. Joan has recently remarried to a wealthy architect. Well, guess what? She's still in the picture.
She calls him at work, they've met for lunch and she'll call him on his cell phone. I know she calls the house, too - but when she knows I'm not there. Once, he started to play his voice mails while I was there and as soon as her voice came on, he deleted it.
He says nothing is going on and I'm being jealous. My friends all think I can do better. What do you say, Bubbie?
Cindy
___________________________________________________________________
Dear Cindy,
I took the liberty of e-mailing you to get more information. And I'd like to pass the info I learned about you to our readers:
Cindy is 54 and her beau is 62. She is even-keeled. He is, too - until he starts drinking and gets mean. Cindy says she just ignores him when he's had too much to drink. She is not interested in him for his money, because she actually helped support her last boyfriend. She also is financially well-off (through hard work, I might add!).
Cindy also sent a photo of herself. She is very slim and has long straight brown hair. I'd say she easily looks 10 years younger. Married once many years ago, she's a college graduate, from a well-to-do family of physicians.
Okay, Cindy - here's Bubbie's question for you: What are you thinking? You want solid proof that he's cheating or else you'll keep staying? Hire a private detective if you need to, but that's beside the point. Why be with a man you don't trust? And he isn't trustworthy, with his high school antics of clandestine phone calls. If this man really loved you, he would and could easily cut it off with this other woman. Or at the least, include you in the friendship. Instead, you're the outsider.
How embarrassing and humiliating, Cindy! You tell me your friends tell you to dump him. When you look at their faces do you sense that they feel sorry for you? Do you really want to be in a relationship where others pity you?
Honey, I know how hard it is to let go - especially when your self-esteem is taking a beating. (His accusations that you're jealous of a home wrecker?? It doesn't get much lower than that.)
Please try to wean yourself off of him. Instead of seeing him every night, cut back to four times a week. Bubbie wishes you could just break if off completely with him, but I think part of your problem is that you think this is your last chance at love. You're desperate to make this work.
I know that the quicker you get rid of this self-centered jerk, the sooner you'll meet your true soul mate. You're so lucky and fortunate to have the whole package. If your brain can't grasp that, Bubbie can't help you and recommends counseling.
I've been dating a man for a year and a half. He's an attorney with a beautiful beach house. His friends and family say they've never seen his so happy and that I'm the best thing that ever happened to him.
He loves my dogs and they love him.
Bubbie, we spend every night together at his house and in the mornings, he brings me breakfast in bed. But, here's the problem:
When he was previously married, that marriage broke up because he was sleeping with another woman. We'll call her Joan. Joan has recently remarried to a wealthy architect. Well, guess what? She's still in the picture.
She calls him at work, they've met for lunch and she'll call him on his cell phone. I know she calls the house, too - but when she knows I'm not there. Once, he started to play his voice mails while I was there and as soon as her voice came on, he deleted it.
He says nothing is going on and I'm being jealous. My friends all think I can do better. What do you say, Bubbie?
Cindy
___________________________________________________________________
Dear Cindy,
I took the liberty of e-mailing you to get more information. And I'd like to pass the info I learned about you to our readers:
Cindy is 54 and her beau is 62. She is even-keeled. He is, too - until he starts drinking and gets mean. Cindy says she just ignores him when he's had too much to drink. She is not interested in him for his money, because she actually helped support her last boyfriend. She also is financially well-off (through hard work, I might add!).
Cindy also sent a photo of herself. She is very slim and has long straight brown hair. I'd say she easily looks 10 years younger. Married once many years ago, she's a college graduate, from a well-to-do family of physicians.
Okay, Cindy - here's Bubbie's question for you: What are you thinking? You want solid proof that he's cheating or else you'll keep staying? Hire a private detective if you need to, but that's beside the point. Why be with a man you don't trust? And he isn't trustworthy, with his high school antics of clandestine phone calls. If this man really loved you, he would and could easily cut it off with this other woman. Or at the least, include you in the friendship. Instead, you're the outsider.
How embarrassing and humiliating, Cindy! You tell me your friends tell you to dump him. When you look at their faces do you sense that they feel sorry for you? Do you really want to be in a relationship where others pity you?
Honey, I know how hard it is to let go - especially when your self-esteem is taking a beating. (His accusations that you're jealous of a home wrecker?? It doesn't get much lower than that.)
Please try to wean yourself off of him. Instead of seeing him every night, cut back to four times a week. Bubbie wishes you could just break if off completely with him, but I think part of your problem is that you think this is your last chance at love. You're desperate to make this work.
I know that the quicker you get rid of this self-centered jerk, the sooner you'll meet your true soul mate. You're so lucky and fortunate to have the whole package. If your brain can't grasp that, Bubbie can't help you and recommends counseling.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Strictly Platonic
Dear Bubbie,
I live alone and really don't want to upset my life by adding a woman into it. I'm happy, but would like someone to go to the mountains with, eat out with and go to the movies. So, I went to Craigslist Strictly Platonic category and found my answer that I want to share with your blogger friends.
Nothing is ever going to happen if you don't first meet your best friend. You have to be best friends before you get married. So, I met this woman. She's 5'7 and only 126 pounds. She doesn't have the best face. She's older, you know. I'm 59, she's 54.
So, on our first date we could be totally ourselves. Our platonic date lasted four hours. A wonderful time of talking and being honest. Although, she lied about her age. I told her no more lies after that. After all - we're buds!
Our second date, we went hiking and she said her breasts were cold. I told her to take off her top and let the sun warm her up. This turned into sex and it was great.
A week later, I called her and we went to an afternoon matinee. We sat in the back row and I don't know what happened for twenty minutes of the movie. We went at it again.
I am now involved in the most perfect relationship of my life. There's no BS. It's strictly platonic. We're buds. No pressure! I can end this any way I want - since we're just friends. No promises. I wanted to share this wonderful experience with you.
Lonnie
Dear Lon,
Boy, your e-mail started so good! You did get rather graphic, which I edited for the sake of this blog. It appears that she is aiming to please. You didn't ask Bubbie for advice, but I will put in my two cents.
Most men believe that this woman is just "having fun" or in an unhappy marriage. "Men do this all the time," is a comment I received from a man. "Why can't a woman just be in it for the sex?"
I think it's because we're not built that way. There are all kinds of reasons we have sex - and some reasons may involve a non-committal relationship, but I think what we all really want is validation and love. I worry that this woman may have an agenda. And, not to burst your bubble, but be aware, that you're not the first she has done this with and there may be others she's doing this with at the same time. You have pointed out that you and she have not practiced safe sex. That is beyond worrisome.
You sound quite excited by finding the answer to your loneliness, so I'd feel better knowing that you play it safer. And I'm not only talking physically. Lonnie, do me a favor. Do an online background check on your Craigslist conquest. It usually runs only $45.00. And watch her neediness if it comes to money.
I'm using your letter, because you are sincere. And I'm sincere in hoping that you find something that better resembles a loving relationship that eliminates your loneliness. Friend with benefits usually leaves one party damaged.
Best, Bubbie.
If you have a question for Bubbie, e-mail: DearBubbie@yahoo.com. We'll print your letter if we think others can benefit from your situation. Please no pornography and we all letters remain anonymous.
I live alone and really don't want to upset my life by adding a woman into it. I'm happy, but would like someone to go to the mountains with, eat out with and go to the movies. So, I went to Craigslist Strictly Platonic category and found my answer that I want to share with your blogger friends.
Nothing is ever going to happen if you don't first meet your best friend. You have to be best friends before you get married. So, I met this woman. She's 5'7 and only 126 pounds. She doesn't have the best face. She's older, you know. I'm 59, she's 54.
So, on our first date we could be totally ourselves. Our platonic date lasted four hours. A wonderful time of talking and being honest. Although, she lied about her age. I told her no more lies after that. After all - we're buds!
Our second date, we went hiking and she said her breasts were cold. I told her to take off her top and let the sun warm her up. This turned into sex and it was great.
A week later, I called her and we went to an afternoon matinee. We sat in the back row and I don't know what happened for twenty minutes of the movie. We went at it again.
I am now involved in the most perfect relationship of my life. There's no BS. It's strictly platonic. We're buds. No pressure! I can end this any way I want - since we're just friends. No promises. I wanted to share this wonderful experience with you.
Lonnie
Dear Lon,
Boy, your e-mail started so good! You did get rather graphic, which I edited for the sake of this blog. It appears that she is aiming to please. You didn't ask Bubbie for advice, but I will put in my two cents.
Most men believe that this woman is just "having fun" or in an unhappy marriage. "Men do this all the time," is a comment I received from a man. "Why can't a woman just be in it for the sex?"
I think it's because we're not built that way. There are all kinds of reasons we have sex - and some reasons may involve a non-committal relationship, but I think what we all really want is validation and love. I worry that this woman may have an agenda. And, not to burst your bubble, but be aware, that you're not the first she has done this with and there may be others she's doing this with at the same time. You have pointed out that you and she have not practiced safe sex. That is beyond worrisome.
You sound quite excited by finding the answer to your loneliness, so I'd feel better knowing that you play it safer. And I'm not only talking physically. Lonnie, do me a favor. Do an online background check on your Craigslist conquest. It usually runs only $45.00. And watch her neediness if it comes to money.
I'm using your letter, because you are sincere. And I'm sincere in hoping that you find something that better resembles a loving relationship that eliminates your loneliness. Friend with benefits usually leaves one party damaged.
Best, Bubbie.
If you have a question for Bubbie, e-mail: DearBubbie@yahoo.com. We'll print your letter if we think others can benefit from your situation. Please no pornography and we all letters remain anonymous.
My Lover Doesn't Want My Kids
Dear Bubbie,
I'm 28 and my boyfriend, Will, is 27. I have two children from my first marriage that ended in divorce a year ago. Will says he loves me, but our relationship will never go anywhere, because he wants his "own kids".
I love him, too, and he does so much for me. But I keep getting a nagging feeling that I may be wasting my time. I don't want to lose him. Bubbie, what are your thoughts?
Maggie in Ocala
_________________________________________________________
Dear Maggie,
We e-mailed a few times so I could get a better handle on your situation. You did come to the conclusion that he really doesn't "do so much" for you. Dire matters fall into the hands of your capable, caring parents. Parents, who you tell me, want you to break up with Will.
I don't think there's a person out there, Maggie, who doesn't understand your need for companionship; not to mention the feelings of love that are expressed. You work full-time. You schlep the kids to and from birthday parties and school events. You and Will's relationship is something you do for yourself and it reminds you that you are still a desirable woman who a man can fall in love with.
Well, guess what Maggie - you don't need a man to feel that way. Your first marriage ended simply because you were young and chose poorly. This rebound relationship is an equally poor choice. I think if anyone asked you: "What is the best thing that you've done in your life?" Among your Top Five answers would unequivocally be your kids.
Your children are an extension of you! I understand him not loving your children, but to penalize you, punish you, make you feel unworthy of his everlasting love because you have children, makes me say: DUMP HIM!
This is not love, Maggie.
Perhaps Ashton Kutcher said it best when he married Demi Moore: "I hit the jackpot. Not only did I get the woman of my dreams, but I got a ready-made family."
You - and definitely your children - deserve better. After you call him to break things off, and if you feel regretful - I want you to look at your beautiful, healthy creations and be thankful to be rid of baggage that you don't need. Good luck, Maggie. Stay in touch.
I'm 28 and my boyfriend, Will, is 27. I have two children from my first marriage that ended in divorce a year ago. Will says he loves me, but our relationship will never go anywhere, because he wants his "own kids".
I love him, too, and he does so much for me. But I keep getting a nagging feeling that I may be wasting my time. I don't want to lose him. Bubbie, what are your thoughts?
Maggie in Ocala
_________________________________________________________
Dear Maggie,
We e-mailed a few times so I could get a better handle on your situation. You did come to the conclusion that he really doesn't "do so much" for you. Dire matters fall into the hands of your capable, caring parents. Parents, who you tell me, want you to break up with Will.
I don't think there's a person out there, Maggie, who doesn't understand your need for companionship; not to mention the feelings of love that are expressed. You work full-time. You schlep the kids to and from birthday parties and school events. You and Will's relationship is something you do for yourself and it reminds you that you are still a desirable woman who a man can fall in love with.
Well, guess what Maggie - you don't need a man to feel that way. Your first marriage ended simply because you were young and chose poorly. This rebound relationship is an equally poor choice. I think if anyone asked you: "What is the best thing that you've done in your life?" Among your Top Five answers would unequivocally be your kids.
Your children are an extension of you! I understand him not loving your children, but to penalize you, punish you, make you feel unworthy of his everlasting love because you have children, makes me say: DUMP HIM!
This is not love, Maggie.
Perhaps Ashton Kutcher said it best when he married Demi Moore: "I hit the jackpot. Not only did I get the woman of my dreams, but I got a ready-made family."
You - and definitely your children - deserve better. After you call him to break things off, and if you feel regretful - I want you to look at your beautiful, healthy creations and be thankful to be rid of baggage that you don't need. Good luck, Maggie. Stay in touch.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Flash 55
Why do we stay when our heads tell us to: "GET OUT"?
You say: "I know I deserve better," but you're just repeating a viscious, painful cycle.
Why won't your heart listen to your head? Why won't logic take hold?
Bubbie knows and understands.
You say: "I know I deserve better," but you're just repeating a viscious, painful cycle.
Why won't your heart listen to your head? Why won't logic take hold?
Bubbie knows and understands.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
FLASH 55
"Oh no," I cried, "Why is that man stopped in the intersection?" The man got out of his car, flashers on and starts "shoo-ing" something. Another man stopped, ran over, bent over and picked up a panicked turtle. Jogging, he placed it in a lake, while traffic patiently watched. Both men - marriage material, Bubbie says!
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