Dealing with An "I Told You So" Person

Dear Bubbie,

Why is it so hard to admit that I was wrong, and "they" were right? I have been ready for months to break up with my girlfriend, but I dread the "I-told-you-so" comments that are bound to follow. I have a feeling that this might be your first letter and have no idea if you can help, but you seem like a sincere person.

Thanks, Sid


Dear Sid.

You are indeed my first and a Bubbie never forgets her first.

The older we get, Sid, the more we appreciate how short life really is and we want to take advantage of every day, every hour, every minute.

Those moments are ticking away, as you are making yourself increasingly unhappy; not to even mention that you are also wasting your girlfriend's time (when she could be out there looking for someone who really loves her).

"I told you so's" are the little stuff in the long haul, but I certainly understand the difficulty in facing the here and now. Here's how you get what you want without hurting your pride:

Handle this with humor. The minute you get serious or angry with an 'I told you so'er' - they win. Here's a couple of comments that might put the kibosh on their righteousness mid-sentence:

"The next one will be a serial killer!"

"It just didn't work, but not for the reasons you think. I fell in love with her mother. She's going to have my baby.

"I fell in love with her brother. I'm gay."

Perhaps, the best approach is to prepare ahead and think of a trait of an "I told you so" person. Do they watch reality television? Drink generic soda/alchohol? Wear clamdigger pants?

Personalize and reply to them with something like: "Well, you watch Reality television - who's to say what's right or wrong?"

Maybe they'll reply with: "Hey, what's wrong with watching Survivor?" It will hopefully put them on the defensive and change the subject. If they persist, you can joke: "Well with a friend like you, she's not looking so bad again! Subject done."

Of course, you can always take the straightforward route: It's onward. I choose not to listen to talk or talk about my past relationships.

Finally, Sid - it may not be as bad as you think. And even if it is, you know whatever HELL you catch, it doesn't begin to compare with others less brave than you are - and that's wasting your valuable years with someone you don't love.

Good luck and get out.

Bubbie

Have a question for Bubbie? E-mail: dearbubbie@yahoo.com