He's a Terrible Driver!

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DearBubbie ‎"My husband is the most gawd-awful driver and somehow he avoids getting tickets. He not only will tailgate, but his road rage (even towards elderly drivers) makes me feel like I don't know him. He says he'll try to do better, but I practically see his blood pressure go up even when he's quiet. Of course, HE wants to ...drive. What do you suggest?"

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Mary:
Stop riding with him. Tell him that you don't like the way he drives or behaves,that its dangerous to you and him AND everyone else on the road and you refuse to ride with him anymore. When you go somewhere, you drive. Then ease up a bit slowly by "allowing" him to drive when you really don't feel like driving.

Lynda:
I am not sure which is worse, your husband who has very bad driving etiquette or mine who wants to drive from the passenger seat. I would insist on driving when we were together. Explain to him that his attitude makes you very nervous and you would just as soon let him sit in the passenger side and enjoy the ride. I have seen so much road rage turn into violence. What is done is done. I am not even a horn honker because by the time I honk they have already committed that infraction..


DearBubbie I wonder if the 'reward' system would work here. Reward good driving habits with his favorite meal....or something else. .. . If he doesn't drive well, penalize him yourself with your own 'ticket' of sorts. I wonder if WHILE the infraction is happening, if there's anything you can do as the passenger to allieviate his stress. Maybe you can google "funny insults' and while the other driver is not moving on a green light, you can start your comedy routine.

DearBubbie
Lynda - you're funny! But be careful. In my smaller car, whenever I pass a large SUV or truck, I have my hand resting on the horn. I also do the 'polite' horn toot vs. the "you idiot" toot. Texters and cellphone users WHILE driving can be irritating, but somehow the husband has to not make it HIS problem and thus YOUR problem. It's about controlling his temper. How in the world does one accomplish that?

Janet:
I have a problem with punishing him for bad behavior, and throwing him treats for good behavior. He's not a child. Neither is he a pet that has to be trained. He says he'll try. I think all you can do is keep reminding him of your discomfort, and don't ride with him if it scares the hell out of you. He is the only one who can change his behavior, and I believe he will once he fully understands - through your words and actions - how uncomfortable you are with his driving habits.

Gordon:
Pray for a close call that almost became a serious accident, yet many men continue that pattern even after a REAL accident. Judging from the job i just retired from , this could be job stress on his part that in certain fields carries into off time. My ex wife drove most of the time we drove anywhere together and I was fine with it(I drove all day for a living), a "Type A' male will have none of that...

Michael A.:
It's all about education. Not your husband's. Other driver's education. If all drivers realized that the left lane is for passing only, not doing the speed limit and clogging up traffic, I promise 90% of your husbands issues will be resolve...d. Until then, buy him a super fast accelerating car equipped with super big brakes and hold on for the ride of your life. I personally recommend you buy him a BMW M6, probably a drop top if you are in FL. It worked for me. PS. I haven't been issued any citations in the last decade either. Just saying....

Sally:
oh god here we go again . "blame the victim' for road rage and the 'I have the right to go any speed I want to in the left lane' syndrome. No, you DON'T.. not in any state.. Those 'traffic cloggers' in the left lane that keep you from going... any speed you want are mostly there because 1)they are going to make a left turn soon and in most metro areas you HAVE to get in the left turn lane well ahead of time or you won't be able to or 2) they would really like to move over to the right but all the reckless, rude speeders in the right lane, all following too closely, won't let them. Will you overly-testosteroneized folks ever realize that the left lane does NOT belong to you to go any speed you want? probably not, you all want to be Mario Andretti or Jimmy Johnson or somebody like that.

Rose:
My ex-husband used to go absolutely crazy driving down here. He would get right on someone's tail and just lay on the horn - it was embarrassing. I was always afraid he was going to give some elderly driver a heart attack or a stroke - so I know how you feel.


Ashley:
Just let him take the wheel~ him probably likes the rush hehe~

DearBubbie
I think I'd just try to beat my husband to the punch and say IMMEDIATELY: "Oh honey, I'm so proud of you for not saying what an idiot that person is! You're aweseome!" I mean, you'd have to say it IMMEDIATELY before he has a chance to pound... the steering wheel. To be honest. . during my single days. . .if I had a date with someone who drove badly, I never dated them again. People said I was "too picky", but I love going for rides so much, I had to love the way the person drove. The worst thing HubbaBubbaBubbieHubbie says is: "Get out of my way, Grandma" which he stole from the movie "Cool Runnings". I don't know if you can tell your hubby (when he's acting up): "Turn it around. This ride is over."

Sally:
I agree, if a man is really a terrible driver I'd have to think whether the relationship is worth it.. furthermore I would bet that most of the bad 'road rage' men have serious anger management issues in other areas of life as well..

Charles:
I have a wife thatr is the same waqy and takes her eyes off the road and away from her driving to make phone calls on her cell phone, and i pray everyday that noone gets hurt or killed including her. Yes, she has an uncontrolable temperthat scares a lot of people, and that temper is what caused our seperation along with her being physically and verbally abusive to several people, and that is something I hope and pray she gets professional help for.

DearBubbie BubbaBub Charles, thanks for weighing in. I see you do a lot of 'likes' on our page. We're happy to have you with us. I hope you meet a kinder, gentler kindred spirit.

Sally:
I hope that every man who's in a marriage that is hopeless or not salvageable will take steps to end it.. there are lots of kind, loving, loyal, non-abusive women who would just love to have a partner.