Should a 16 year old Work?

From the DearBubbie@yahoo.com mailbox and the replies from our DearBubbie Facebook page.

Dear Bubbie:

Teenager just turns 16. Her goal is to make it into a Florida college (extremely tough). Grades are good. However, she wants to follow in the footsteps of her brother and work at a grocery store. Money has never been an issue for this family. Brother got involved with wrong people at work. Should she work there? Any ideal job thoughts for a girl that age? Or should she not work at all?

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Janet:
Don't quite get this questions. Her goal is to go to a Florida college, and she wants to work in the grocery store at the same time, or after she graduates?

DearBubbie
Thank you for allowing me to clarify, Janet. She wants to work WHILE she's still in high school. She just turned 16 and wants to work in addition to going to school. But it appears that her lofty ambition to get into a four-year college will be compromised with more focus on socializing and work at the new job - like it did with her brother.

Janet
I don't think that working part time while in high school will compromise her college education, as long as she keeps up her school work. Plenty of teenagers do that. It's not the job that would interfere, but any bad decisions she makes-such as hanging out with the wrong crowd, and letting her social life interfere with her schoolwork.

Sarah
Personal Experience - The people you work with do effect you. I don't think its a good idea for a young lady to seek employment at a place she already knows has alot of the wrong sorts of people working there. Just asking for trouble.

She should definitely work, but there are probably better options. One of My First Jobs was at a Starbucks Style Coffee House - It was fun, I felt cool, Met Cool People, and My Friends came to see me and get coffee all the time. Great for a Teenager. Another great job Option for teen gals is to work at a clothing store like Gap/Old navy/Charlotte Russe Etc... Make Some Money and get a discount on clothes etc...

If Money is not important - Concentrate mostly on school. You can also find volunteering opprotunities more rewarding and character building than a job if you find the right opprotunity (and there are LOTS)

Don't seek out a job that has caused trouble for people in the past. You will only be subjecting yourself to those same influences which you felt were bad for your brother. You might be able to handle it better than he did, but why make your first work experiences be negative ones?

Good Luck! SCHOOL FIRST!

Chris
I would highly recommend a job as a teen in the grocery store business. I worked for A & P Supermarkets in NJ in HS and I learned a lot in that business. Also at 19 yrs old I was given my own department as a manger and made close to $30,000 my first year. That was over 20 years ago! And if I knew then what I know now about managing people and running a business, I may have very well stayed in that business and been a merchandiser or district manager. I have friends back from those days that are still in the business that are great people with excellent careers making a wonderful living. It can be a very high stress retail job and supermarkets count on a huge amount of part time employees, so that is a huge challenge. I would tell this young lady, that if she enjoys the job then take it and learn as much as she can about customer service, financials, merchandising, purchasing, inventory, scheduling and put it to work with a college education! The supermarket business gave me the background training that I needed to run my own restaurant and it was an excellent thing to have on my resume through the years. I still have a reference letter from my store manager when I left A & P and I cherish his kind remarks about the job that I did for him.

There seems to be a stigma that a job at a supermarket is not a good career path. Do not be fooled by the aprons and silly hair nets. Managers make over $100,000 yr with bonuses and department heads these days can make $50,000 and up. It is hard to get a full time position as they usually promote from within. I believe in that concept. And if this young lady gets a college education and she finds that she loves the business, she would have a good chance of moving up.

So if her family is discouraging this part time high school job because they don't think it is a good place to work, they should think again. How many college graduates do they know that are unemployed or possibly bagging groceries to pay back a college loan? She might as well learn what the real world is about and I congratulate her on wanting to work hard and learn. Her brother meeting the wrong people has nothing to do with the business choice. He could have had a job as a Doctor or Lawyer and got mixed up with drugs, alcohol, liars.... you name it they are everywhere!

Janet
Yes-they are everywhere...in any place you work. That's why it all depends on the choices she makes. There are most likely also great people to associate with where her brother works.

Jan
Just because they are brother and sister does not mean that they are exactly alike. This girl is making good grades, wants to go on to a Florida college and WANTS to work. Sounds to me like she is an ambitious young lady. What kind of friends does she hang around with now? Chances are she will gravitate to the same kind of friends in a working environment.

Chris
Why is it more cool to work at a Starbucks than Publix? It is all a matter of what you consider a cool job. Do what you like and LOVE what you do! Most supermarkets offer college tuition for their employees as well. Even a company like Tractor Supply Company does that for their part time employees! It is an excellent benefit!! More so than a discount on clothing. I see some people work a t a retail store like the Gap and they spend more than they make because they get a discount. That discount won't do you a bit of good if it gets you in debt! And some supermarkets also offer discounts on their purchases. Not sure about Publix but I believe Whole Foods does.

And again, if she hangs with the wrong kids at school, she will find the wrong people to hang with at Publix too. A job at a Supermarket could teach her so much.

Just a side note. I always compliment any teenager at a job that I feel has an excellent attitude and has helped my shopping experience be pleasant. I believe kids these days don't get enough of that encouragement. And if I see someone that is rude to a teen employee for no reason, I usually try to make up for it when it is my turn to interact with them. ... I also had many teens that I hired at Word of Mouth Restaurant when I was the owner. These kids bussed tables, hosted, cashiered, prepped, took phone orders, etc. Nothing glamourous. But many of them are college graduates now that are working hard to break into the field that they want a job in. But until they find that job, I know that I taught them great skills that they can use at any restaurant to keep a cash flow coming in until they find the job of their dreams.

Tell this young lady to work to enhance her life learning, not just to get a paycheck to spend. Learn how to save and multi task. And Sarah is right... your school work must come first, especially if you want to get into a great college!

Alisa
she wants to work, it is a good thing. Don't dissaude her!

DearBubbie
I love Sarah's post. This teen idolizes her older brother - and I fear he wants her to go down the same path. I also think working part-time IS great, but be around the FIELD you want to strive for. In example - work at a veterinarian. She had business as a babysitter - learn how to save money and be busy on weekend nights. Or work for a family ... See Morebusiness and learn entrepeunerial skills. And you're DARN RIGHT, Chris, about earning good $$$'s at a grocery store with EXCELLENT BENEFITS, but that isn't her goal. To get into a college, you do have to show volunteer hours and take advanced classes and do well in them. This job surely sounds like a distraction to me. And what about for the weekend when you ARE behind on your homework or you WANT to play sports or see a movie - and you can't - because you're working. I think - that when we get OLDER, we HAVE to work. Why create hardship at such a young age when she doesn't have to? This is the time for piano lessons, schoolwork, organizations and discovering who you are. Her brother was also at the same place she was - with school being all-important. Basically his life went downhill after taking this job. But Jan has a great point - whoever she gravitates around NOW, will be the same type(s) she gravitates towards at work. I've just seen this young girl 'justify/explain' her brother's choices of friends - and I can only shake my head. Logic at that age can be filled with holes.

DearBubbie
I disagree, Alisa!!! LOL!!!!!

Chris
Who is asking the question here to begin with? The 16 yr old or her concerned parents? I was an excellent student with great grades, I played softball, was the editor of my school paper and I worked at a supermarket. It has nothing to do with where she works or if she works at all... it is all about how she handles her choices. If she idolizes her brother, maybe the brother is steering towards poor friend choices. The job won't do that for her. Some parents home school because they are so fearful that their child may get involved with poor friend choices. Believe in your kids, support them when they are trying to work hard and be independent, and help them get over a mistake when they make it. We all do make mistakes, don't we?

Allison
Publix is a great company to work for...and they do hire 16 year olds. Let's face it...in this economy it can be hard for ANYONE to get a job. And there are bad seeds in any line of employment. The parents just need to keep a watchul eye, and look for teachable moments. Use the bad seeds as examples of what not to do. Summer nannying and good ... See Moreold fashioned babysitting are also great ways to make money. I made $10-$15 an hour as a nanny when I was 17-20 and that was almost twenty years ago! I also still keep in touch with the kids who are graduating from college and masters programs. I learned a lot about parenting in a sort of "hands on" environment...invaluable experience!
Mon at 9:14am · · ReportLyn Larson My son worked at Publix starting at age 14 and enjoyed it, had no trouble with others there and still maintained his grades. He's not a straight A student but does pretty well. What is also important for her is to study for the entrance exams for college. UF for one is almost impossible to get into without 4+ GPA plus other qualifications they want.

Working helps you get a better perspecive on live and money and relationships. It also makes you learn to balance the things in your life so you can keep up with all of them. School, work, hobbies, friends, etc.

I agree that she should get a job where she wants to work and can enjoy the work. If we all learned early on to strive for a job that we enjoy, it would have helped many of us choose different paths than we did. I know I wish I had followed that course, instead of liestening to what people told me I should do. I finally figured it out, but I was older and wished I had gone the way I had wanted. ... See More

I wish her well in her endeavors; she sounds ambitious and should do well.

Maureen
This is a topic that I am living right now. I have a child that is a freshman in college and another that is a junior in high school.

We never pushed the older one tho get a job because his studies and his sports came first. Now that he is college he is at a disadvantage because all the other kids that have had more work experience as well as interview experiences than him have been able to find a job. He has not.

Now my daughter on the other hand wanted to go on a youth leadership conference in Washington DC and we said yes if she could earn her way. She took a job at a local fast food place and worked with different kids than she had within her own circle. Some of the kids went to different schools, some had different backgrounds as well as different life experiences. She had a great experience learning with them and from them. As well as the life experiences from having to answer to other adults, not teachers and not parents, and how to deal with working with the public.

I work for a local grocery chain which means that I work with kids 16 yrs olds and they come with all different situations as well. yes there are "bad kids" in the work place but they are also at school and church and at the mall etc It how you deal with them that matters to your own growth.
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If this child doesn't have to work to have money for insurance then it become a choice and not a necessity let her make the choice if she doesn't like it she can leave it. There is nothing wrong with trying out different jobs while young. that is actually the beauty of being young.

Sarah
Work is not about Glamour. I just threw out an example of one of my first Jobs. I also worked as a Dishwasher, A Waitress, A Warehouse/Shipping Clerk, A Receptionist for the Boys/Girls Club, and as a Vet Assistant working Full time Night Shifts at a Large Animal Hospital All Before I was 18 (WHile Putting myself through high school and running a household) And there is Nothing Glamourous about Helping a Vet do a Necropsy on a Pregnant mare at 3am when its 25 degrees outside.

With that said - I LOVE the idea of a Teenager who is motivated to enter the workforce and balance that with School and Future Goals. there are lots of great PT jobs for Teens out there, grocery stores are just one of lots of options.

One of my BEST experiences (that helped me decide on my future career path) was when I worked 3 afternoons a week as a receptionist for the Boys and Girls Club and then if I had extra time the rest of the week I would go down and volunteer to help with fundraisers and networking with the community to find sponsers for Club events and generate donations, Working with the kids, and helping kids with homework. If I did not have time I was not obligated to go. It worked out great. I had plenty of time to take care of personal responsibilities, My Own Schooling, and Earn a decent PT Paycheck. (and it looks great on a Resume).

I ENCOURAGE this fine young lady to Work - I DISCOURAGE her from putting herself in a bad situation. There are OTHER grocery stores to work at too.

Chris
Great points Maureen! Too bad Jake can't use helping us bus tables at Word of Mouth when he was a young child coming to work with Mom! I agree with Maureen. Employers are looking for College grads, but they also look at life experience.

And Sarah, I know what you mean about being out in a cold, wet barn with a vet in the middle of the night... See More! Not very glamourous at all! LOL! Especially when you are wearing pajamas and mucking boots!! I always hate calling my horse vet late at night... but horses never get sick at normal times, do they?

David
My opinion would be if she wants to work part time, by all means go for it. But if the wrong people try sucking her in to their group she needs to say something to her parents, and or employer. I commend her for wanting to, but not having to work. And to seek furthering her education is fantastic! If the grades start to slack, or start calling off work to run with the in-crowd. Then it's time to take a step back, and take a perspective look at everything and see if her goals have changed. A 16 year old female is usually more mature than a young man of 19or 20. Keep your goals focused, watch out for the distractions of others trying to persuade you by peer pressure. Stick to your goals and you'll succeed where others fail.

Sarah
Great Post David!

Allison
Might I add that I also worked at Chuck E Cheese (my first job) and yes I did have to wear the costumes...which turned out to be both hillarious and fun and a great story as I have aged. Work is not about glamour and I really believe work is essential to building character. I am shocked how many young people these days don't work.
My 13 year old daughter works with me at the Indian restaurant on weekends to make spending money for her school trip to DC and NYC in May. I bet she thinks twice before she blows any of that money...and she has gained a ton of confidence (especially dealing with adults!).

David
Thanks Sarah!

Chris
Great comment David! My parents tried to discourage my jobs as they felt I didn't have to. I know the real reason is that they were trying to protect me from the wrong environment. All parents want to protect the children from the wrong outside influences. I was a very independent and strong teenager and very mature. I wanted to make my own money. I had a 100 house paper route at a very young age and was used to working. I also had many baby sitting jobs as well as pet sitting.

I had some wild and crazy friends, but that doesn't mean I let them influence me at all. I was the kind of kid in HS that just got along with everyone... the jocks, the preps, the junkies, you name it. But I was a good kid. I wanted trust and respect from my parents and believe me when I say I earned it.

I have seen a lot of parents these days push their children for a dream or career/college path because that is what they want for them. Who really wants this girl to get into a particular college? Does she want it or is it her parents telling her that is what she wants? Watching the Olympics this week was such a great experience, but there were several mentions of young athletes that were under so much pressure to win a medal. Why is there that much pressure at such a young age? Don't make your dreams, your child's dreams. Encourage them the best that you can to have a worthwhile goal... but make sure it is their goal.

Chris
Oh and Bubbie, I just reread your last post. Supermarkets can teach you the skills for just about any endeavor you are striving for... Financial, human resources, inventory, merchandising, customer service skills (Big one!!) and many more. And most Supermarkets are very involved in charities and it is a great place for a teen to get involved with the community. I know Publix used to be involved in many of the same charities I was in Florida and I know Whole Foods was a part of the Empty Bowls event and Giving Hunger the Blues. I will say again, that working for a supermarket as a teen was invaluable to me especially as an entrepreneur!

Charmaine
Read/listen to Deepak Chopra's "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success."
priceless.

Jan
Well said Chris!

Rose
In general - I would encourage her to work if she wants to. It's great that she has ambition and wants to try new experiences. Her parents just need to lay down some ground rules - for example limiting the number of hours she works, how late she works, and with the understanding that if her grades suffer she'll have to quit or cut back on her hours.

Chris
Maureen, maybe you can shed some light on rules for employers for hiring 16 yr olds as well. It has been awhile for me as I sold my business down there years ago, but there are laws for hiring teens, max hours and lateness, type of work, etc.

DearBubbie:
The girl desperately wants to go to UF. School is just sooo much harder than when I was in school It's much more time-consuming. My experience (way back when) was that I didn't have TIME for a 'real' part-time job. I was so busy with band! Summer is a great time for a kid to get their feet wet with employment and if this kid's goal IS COLLEGE - ... then I'd advise her to get a job or INTERN in an area that she really wants to learn more about.
DearBubbie really nods to ALL of the comments - it shows that while we may have different approaches to a kid working, everyone has the kids' BEST INTEREST in mind. It seems the consensus (and I think it's a good one) is if the kid wants to work, let her work but keep an eye on grades, hours and who her new work friends may be.
I'm not a Mom. I definitely would want to make sure my kid had some downtime and fun. I'd consider school their FULL-TIME JOB. You're only young once!

Maureen
there are definitive rules at where I work reguarding minors

A brief overview but not everything...
no more than 27 hr a week
no more than 4 hours on the clock before a off the clock lunch period ... See More
no working past 10pm on a school night
no working more tnan 7.5 hr on a day before school

Alisa
My daughter, Erika will be my example. She has worked since she was 15, with my blessing. Since grade 11, she held two positions of employment, which has continued to be her pattern to this day. She is currently in university, studying chemistry - after taking both paramedics and culinary arts. She is now 24. She left a $50,000 a year at the VON to go to university, but still keeps a part time position there and at the hotel chain. She wishes to become a dietician to combine her love of science and food.
Not only did her grades not suffer by working while in school but she: graduated on the honour roll from high school, got awards in science and math, completed a winter survival training program offered through the high school and was the top fundraiser for the school in her final year. Oh, and in there, she endured emergency surgery at 16, where they opened up her chest to remove a massive cyst from her entire chest cavity and throat. She was off school for months that year.
Erika got into every post secondary program, each quite challenging in their own right, that she ever wanted to take. One of the things they liked about her was her focus on her goals. It improved her ability to get into those programs because she proved she could handle challenges and be successful.
This summer, she is off to South America, on a humanitarian mission to the Amazon. She will build schools, wells, play and teach children English for two weeks. Instead of baking on a beach during her summer break, she is hauling a backpack into the jungle and is spending her time helping others. Her medical training from paramedics will no doubt come in handy. (Am I nervous? Damn right, I am but I admire her incredibly for being so brave and strong.)
Don’t sell this young woman short. If she is a good student and a generally good kid with a head on her shoulders, why not let her try it on for size? First, she has to go through the application process and acquire the job; a good experience to have. Yes, she gets to socialize a bit at work but, she has a job to do and responsibilities to the employer. Let them teach her the consequences, if she doesn’t do her job. ... See More
The reality of working may not appeal to her once she actually starts doing it. Sixteen year olds sure love their girlfriends and a social circle and don’t forget the parties she will miss out on! Maybe the pay cheque will make her want to be very responsible because, like Erika, there were things she wanted that we would or could not provide. Working part time allowed her to have her hearts desires, usually clothes! LOL
As parents, you set boundaries around the daughter and the job taking – hours, grades, social activities, attitude, savings vs. spending…. Giving her the opportunity to make some independent decisions now regarding her life, that are positive – like working – will boost her self-esteem and confidence. She may even be like my daughter, determined to be sure the rope I gave her to hang herself in the beginning, never gets tight.

Chris
Well said Alisa! I really believe in working as a teen. So many adults look for work after college with no work ethics, goals or personal skills. It amazes me that so many kids get everything handed to them. Bravo for giving your daughter that rope! Good luck to her in the Amazon! Very exciting!!
Chris
And I know that many kids do have great work ethics from college work, so don't take that as an insult to all kids fresh out of college. I just believe that working helps. And like Julie says, it does not have to be a paying job. It can be an internship or a volunteer job. Most employers take volunteer work into consideration!

Alisa
Thanks, Chris....I hung myself too many times in my youth. Nice to see the apple fell far from this tree! LOL

Erika
Okay, I know I'm a little late... But here's a view from me :)
I worked (as my mother knows) at two different places while in high school (Lenny's Sub Shop and Coldstone) while putting in a few hours every once in a while at my mothers work. I don't think that my school work was ever compromised. Wherever you work there are going to be other teens ... See Morethat are involved in the wrong type of things.... but it's what you make of yourself, not what others make you do or force you to do. If you remain strong, you will succeed.

Rebecca Prozzo
As a teacher I see many of my students at Publix, I have to be honest. Their hours stink. They go straight to work by 4 and aren't getting off til 9 or 10. These are not students making the high grades. Be sure of that! Granted, there are exceptions. Monitor their work hours and ASK TO SEE THEIR work! :))

DearBubbie
Thanks, Rebecca. I just talked with a woman who went to Princton. Did she work? "Yes, I interned for my Dad." Did she think she would work AND go to a good school? "No."