Don't Worry, Be Happy

Sometimes there's a lot to be said for denial when it comes to our worries. That's not to say we should buy a new flat screen TV for our bathrooms when we can barely afford the toilet paper. I'm merely trying to get across that if worrying isn't going to change the outcome (and it never does, does it?), then move onto a 'more fun' time-waster - like Facebook or a Sudoku puzzle.

I'd worry more about worrying because the stress can kill you.

Sadly, one thing out of control is the health and welfare of our loved ones. This ranked high on our DearBubbie Facebook page as one of our greatest concerns. My Mother always says life is "geschrieben". Our destinies are written in the stars. I suppose if one truly believed it's out of their control anyway, a lot of unnecessary worry will blow away with the wind.

Mom is 81 years old and has never had a major health crisis, so there could be something about this geschrieben stuff that rings true.

A similar Yiddish expression is "beshert" - and that is usually used to describe your destiny in finding your soul mate. With all my heart, I believe it was beshert that I met my husband, John. And to think of all the years I wasted worrying about finding my soul mate. I couldn't have picked a better time to find a better man to marry. The stars knew much better than me.

As for our own health - we know what we need to do to stay healthy. The fear and thoughts, however, that the media constantly puts in our heads contributes to our woes. Over awareness is not a good thing, in DearBubbie's opinion. I don't need to see constant reminders of breast cancer on my soup cans or tennis shoes. It puts the thought in my head - and I don't want it there constantly.

Take care of yourself - eat better, move more. Make that a resolution every day to ward off worries about your own health. Pass by something you ordinarily would eat. Park your car a little further away and pick up the pace, take steps instead of an elevator. It actually will make you feel a lot better.

Instead of worrying about our loved ones, what if we spent our time thinking about what we can do for (or with) our kids, parents, spouses, etc. . . In the time it takes us to log in to our e-mail, we could be writing a 'love you' note to place on their pillows at night. Instead of looking up stocks, we can be looking up day trips.

A schedule for more quantity and quality of time with our loved ones is something that we can control and make happen.

When it comes to money problems, my friend, Charmaine has said: "If my only problems are those that can be solved by having money, then I'm in pretty good shape."

I can't complain to my Mother (there she is again!) about money, because she'll scold me: "If you're going to worry about money, the God will show you some real problems! If you have health and love, you have it all."

I have a friend who recently lost her house to foreclosure and found an affordable rental. She appears to almost be happier to have that stress off her back. Someone else is worrying about repairs, taxes and insurance. And she is starting over fresh. Same with a woman who had major credit card debt. She worried about her credit, having to rush to the post office to make her minimum payments. This was her life. When bankruptcy became the only answer, she suddenly became free. And happy. Life deals us this hand and sometimes it turns out for the better.

I'd say most of us have no business worrying about money. The unhappiest people I know are the people who have lots of it. My Bubbiehubby worried constantly about money. When I reminded him that we've made ends meet for the past three years and nothing has changed - he loosened up. He is truly a different man.

To conclude, isn't it true that there's peace of mind in knowing that we tried our best? That we acknowledge our mistakes and therefore aren't on track to keep repeating them. If we do our best by our families, our loved ones - then there is no need for worry. It is truly geschrieben..

Now for some concerns over the generations*:

In the 1960's, crime first emerged as a national issue and played a central role in the Presidential contest of 1964 and 1968. Richard Nixon ran successfully for President touting a "law and order" platform. Polls showed that for the first time in U.S. History, crime had risen to the status of America's number one domestic problem. How about sending our kids off to war with the draft? Or the free love/cult/LSD culture? Would we rather be raising our kids today with Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus?

The 1970's marked the era of awareness of our environment. The first Earth Day took place in 1970. "There are ominous signs that the earth's weather patterns have begun to change dramatically," Newsweek reported in 1975. They warned of a drastic decline in food production. The 1970's brought about the end to the Vietnam war, opposition to nuclear weapons, the advocacy of world peace and hostility to the authority of government and big business. Industrialized countries, except for Japan, experienced an economic recession due to an oil crisis caused by oil embargoes. Remember the high interest Jimmy Carter years?

The 1980's became the Me! Me! Me! Generation of status seekers. During the 1980's, we saw hostile takeovers, leveraged buyouts and mega-mergers that spawned a new breed of billionaire. Binge buying and credit became a way of life. Tom Wolfe dubbed the baby boomers as the "splurge generation". The decade began with double-digit inflation, Reagan declared a war on drugs and many of our finest talents succumbed to AIDS. Internationally, the Berlin Wall was removed.

There will always be issues for concern, but there always seems to be a happy ending even in the most dismal of situations.

*this information was gathered from various websites and not written by Dearbubbie.