Monday, January 25, 2010

From our DearBubbie@yahoo.com mailbox. . We would love your comments. And if you have an anonymous question for the Bubbies, just e-mail us. .

Dear Bubbie,

I just got off a five-year on & off relationship with an older man. Well, it had been over for awhile. I've dated a little bit, but now just recently am getting serious over a 29 year old man. He told me he was 36, but I found out differently. Bubbie, I'm a youngish 47. What is too young? I don't ...want to get hurt again. Love, A true Cougar


Dear Cougar,
This is kind of a no-brainer for DearBubbie. It is very flattering to get the attention of a younger man. And this is when you need it the most. It's true that women also go through mid-life crises'. DearBubbie says to watch for red flags whenever a relationship starts with a lie. I don't get WHY people begin a relationship with a lie about ... See Moretheir age. But that 's another question for another time. Basically, Cougar, he doesn't have your same life experiences. Unless you enjoy being in the teacher role and not getting the depth of understanding from someone who has LIVED their life - then it could work. A younger man is appealing after being with an older man - I would think, for physical and energy-level reasons. Keep your eyes and head open for what YOU NEED in a relationship. The "right one" will fill your important needs. Finally, think of life DOWN the road when you're much older and he's still youngish and good-looking. How will you feel if people think you're his mother??

And a reply from one of our Bubbies on the DearBubbie Facebook page. . .

Janet
Ditto to DearBubbie. If he lied in the introductory phase (his age), then what else is he going to lie about?It is obvious that HE feels uncomfortable with the age difference, or he would not have lied. You seem to feel uncomfortable with it, too, or you would not have voiced your concern. What is the purpose of the relationship? Is it just for fun, or to grow with each other into something more serious? Age difference aside, I don't see how it can become a serious thing, because of the lie, and the fact that both of you are uncomfortable with the age thing.Many men take younger women, and there should not be a double standard, but you have to ask yourself...What do I want out of this? What does HE want out of this? If it's a mutual understanding.....

2 comments:

  1. The lying part is not right, period. But I will disagree with the advice given about the age difference. I am currently engaged to someone who is in his late 40's... I am in my late 20's. I can't explain it, but it just works for us. There is no "teacher" role in our relationship. I wouldn't tell someone not to go for it just because of the age difference. And the part about other people thinking she is his mother as they get older? I say, who cares! If you're happy, that's all that really matters. Those that matter don't mind... and those that mind don't matter.

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  2. Rabbit, Rabbit

    The lie up front is not a good sign. I could never get over thinking of someone so much younger like a son. I have no problem looking at young guys...I'm dead.

    Of course, I have no problem with anyone having fun. Could be a very exciting little libido vacation.

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