Dear Bubbie,

Not a question, but rather a comment based on your profile on Blogspot. I am not married and am 37 years old. I don't know how you managed to make it through the holiday season for so many years alone. I hate this time of year. There is nothing that will make me change my mind. The holiday crap starts so early every year that it feels like it will be forever for Christmas and New Year's to come and go.

It is EXTREMELY tough being alone.

Louise

P.S. I do have friends and I could go out on dates, but nobody floats my boat. I'd rather be alone than waste my time

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Dear Louise,

Well, of course, I used to feel like you - except for worse. Once the New Year festivities were over with, there were all these advertisements for Valentine's Day! I needed February 14th to be over with before I could breathe again.

I'm not going to preach to you, because I don't think it is an easy time of year AND you didn't ask for my advice. But I'll tell you three things that may help the going get easier. Wait a minute. .four things:

1. Read the letter from "Another Holiday Stab in the Heart". Just because people are together for holidays doesn't make it great. In so many cases, it's just a huge cause for stress. Even when people travel, there's the hassle of packing and flying.

2. You can do whatever the heck you want (including cry!); eat whatever and however much you want to eat or not even eat at all!

3. Please do something a little out of the ordinary. One year I went to St. Armand's Circle (an outdoor shopping circle) and it was packed with people. I had tears in my eyes as I saw couples holding hands and then I saw HIM! Jerry Springer, the talk show host! He had bought one of my Mom's paintings and I reminded him of who I was and he remembered me. Tears gone - the rest of the day was great!

4. My best Thanksgiving as a single person happened when I told myself - this may BE the last Thanksgiving I get to be alone, so enjoy it for all its worth. Guess what? It was my last Thanksgiving alone. And the following one - with family - wasn't so great!

5. Oops - there's five?? You are very telling in your letter, Louise. You have friends you can be with? You could even have a date? You are CHOOSING to be alone, whether you realize it or not. So, it shows you do take comfort and contentment in it. It's great to have options.

Finally, you know what kind of changed the holiday blues for Bubbie? This is kind of mean. .I had dated a gorgeous, successful man and was boo-hoo'ing on my first Fourth of July without him (thinking I was missing out on barbecue and fun at the beach or on his boat).

Like Jerry Springer suddenly appeared, I saw him walking with his new girlfriend. He had gotten VERY fat and unhealthy looking. I thought of how much he drank (too much) and him stuffing his face with hot dogs and hamburgers and possibly even having his pretentious friends around. .and it was truly Independence Day for me!

Keep in touch, friend. And be thankful.

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