Powerful Ex Has Taken her Child

This came via Dearbubbie@yahoo.com. Your input is welcome.

Dear Bubbie,

My ex, a powerful man in our community hurt me while we were still married. I pressed charges and it made the newspapers. Of course, we divorced shortly thereafter.

He is cruel, spiteful and revengeful and has literally stolen my child, Bobby, away from me.

Because he is a multi-millionaire, he has basically bankrupted me as I've run out of money trying to fight for my child back. Last December, right before we went to court, my lawyer QUIT (because I wouldn't hand over custody) and I was forced to represent myself. It was a snowy miserable day and right before I went into court, a truck sped by my parked car - getting dirty, salty snow all over my nylons and skirt.

Because custody is a personal matter (right?) and no one's business, I had no one with me.

He shows up with his entire family (they're like the Kennedy clan); business associates and their wives; and friends that filled up his half of the courtroom.

I was there alone...and his attorney mentioned that, too. Well, Ms. Attorney bitch, my father has dementia and my mother is dead. My only sibling lives across the country and my closest friends WORK. I didn't think I needed to burden them with a public lynching! My ex on the other hand, gave out tickets for the horror show. It was unbelievable and probably like watching something at the Roman Coliseum, for a full day of testimony. One day, Bobby will want to beat the shit out of his father for putting me through that. I just know it. I did not deserve what happened, nor does my child.

Bubbie, I haven't spoken one word to my son since Sept. 19th. He has legally stolen him from me and I can't afford to do a damn thing about it. I still owe my former attorney $9,000. I lost my house after threats of foreclosure last June before it became popular to do so. I'm not crying victim, it's just that this man has made it his mission to ruin me. He wouldn't cross the street to piss on me if I was on fire.

I think I'll go to free legal aide. It isn't easy being me.

Margaret


Dear Margaret,

You are right. It isn't easy being you right now. But that can all change in the blink of an eye. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I googled your town and came across the newspaper article when your then-husband did strike you. I'm sure your town was shocked by what goes on behind closed doors.

Try writing to some local or near-by attorneys and see if they'll take your case pro-bono. I hope that's the right term. Perhaps they can collect legal fees from the "other party" since he seems to be dragging it on. Ask if you can do some payment plans, even. Do you have any friends that have lawyers for friends who can help you? Contacts do help.

As for not talking to your child. . doesn't he have a cellphone? Is he on any kind of social network? The fact that you can not speak to your child will NOT BODE WELL for your ex in any future hearing. This is not good for the child.

The courtroom situation that you described - it sounds like you could almost suffer from Post Traumatic Stress after such a happening! So, I want you to know that you're not alone in something like that. Look at Heather Mills and Paul McCartney. (Who knows the true story there, but you are NOT alone.) I think a judge would have sympathy for the situation you described above. . the former rich powerful husband and the people with the mentality of "choosing sides" with the person they think will benefit them the most. It's a horrible picture of David vs. Goliath and the way you envision it is NOT the way the judge saw it.

Think of a movie you would watch, Margaret. Wouldn't you be rooting for the woman standing alone? In that room it was mob mentality. In a book or movie, you're the real hero. Living through something like that can bring tears to your eyes - so you must see if from a different viewpoint and applaud wildly for yourself. Okay? That was a surreal experience that's in the PAST.

Please keep records of everything and be prepared with a list or what's happening and questions for your new attorney. By the way, I hope the NEW WIFE has her ducks in a row. She's next. .and the situation could drive them apart.

You're good to go. You don't have the abusive husband anymore. Now with the RIGHT lawyer, you'll get your child back. Please keep us all posted about communication with your child. HANG IN.

Love,
Bubbie